Weather forecast: cloudy, 18ºC Max, 7ºC Min, brizzly
A far while
I used to think in a friendly environment. I had everything –a lovely girl,
some friends, I was studying my favorite field. Anything seemed to be perfect.
I was so wrong.
I woke up
with a terrible headache. A pack of wolves had stolen my little piece. I lost
her and I discovered the hard work market.
It’ s past
tense. A tiny tale in the time or I thought that. Well, It’ s true that my
points have been changed.
I realise I
have got a great opportunity as working in my field in the current situation. I
was flying and I’ m flying and flying over the sky as if I were a black kite -a
lonely wolf.
Past is
never just past.
I’ve drunk
too much these two years. Too much of that favorite beverage -girls. Trying to
look for her in each tender touch, imagining she was there. Unsurprisingly,
nothing have worked –I’ m a bit of loner.
No friends, despite it’ s supposed my work is filling the dead empty
space of my soul.
I’ ve
become quite independent. If you have to bear the loneliness, why don’ t I try
to turn it in an advantage? I’ ve chosen to profit this experience as if it was
a lesson. I’ ve learnt there’ s always something to learn – life itself is a
continuous class.
Alone,
alone.
If it’ s my
condition and I can’t change it, why should it drive me mad? It’ s said there’
s enough time, that we have our own path. I don’ t know what I can believe in.
In fact, I
was/am a pilgrim to find out what I can believe what I am looking for and so
forth. It didn’t /doesn’ t matter stay alone in this or that place. I was/am
travelling on my own – like when I travelled to Milan last May. Although it was
a little and stable trip with no more complications than taking a plane and
moving through one city, I decided to go to France in a sort of big adventure.
I didn’ t know. I was bitten by the travel bug and I had/have itchy feet. I needed/ need so much answers that I though
it’ d be the best medicine I had ever had on my hand. I got it several bus and
trains and I travelled more than 1,000 kilometers, speaking in a foreign
language and experiencing the culture shock.
There are
some true lessons from that people. There’ s one who is waiting for me, there’
re conditions which set our behavior and personality, that one girl won’ t
limit my flight. To sum it with some words,
it’ s not my time yet. I need to keep on flying. Someday I could say all what I
will have learned.
Unfortunately,
the past is sleeping and it wakes when it wants to. In that way, I met a
beautiful young girl. I felt strangely fine with her, although she wasn’ t
fitted to my preferences. I stopped of drinking from lips about two beautiful
months. And one day, my ex lovely girl was inside – the twister stormed my
walls. How could I meet a girl in a different town which had certain link with
the pack of insects and my lovely girl?
It doesn’ t matter. I don’ t mind.
To be
honest, I ‘ ve realised I didn’ t love that young girl. She was not for me as she said. I tried to hide my feelings in her.
Oh, God, I’ m sick. I do really have fear of forgetting her face, her voice and
her skin.
From my
point of view, I lost her and we haven’ t
talked for 3 weeks. She may be upset. She told me my feelings were a
lie, she’ d been crying 7/24, she expected
that we would be keeping in touch til the last breath of our lives. She
told me she loved me –but in a different way. She couldn’ t lose me. She
couldn’ t, she said.
After that,
everything went okay or she said so. She was happy we could have been repaired
our connection. Nevertheless, I haven’t
known anything about her for
three weeks. I guess she is refusing to call me.
Maybe
everything is okay and she’ s to be focused in more
important priorities. I can say at all.
However,
the last week I thought she was sleeping
on my side. I was frustrated in the morning when she wasn’ t there. She’ s got
a partner, a better partner. And me, I’ m a just an ex-boyfriend. I’ ve lost
her forever.
There’ re
persons who are destined to be alone like an old bohemian. So, I flight
dreaming in her tender smile because this incredible light was a part of me and
I have got it yet. A shinning Moon which leads me towards the blue sea. Flying
and flying like the black shadow of that ship named ‘ The black kite’ –Milvus
migrans.
P.S. >
it seems I ‘ ve written too much because
of the lack of post in the past months.
Pic>
Milvus migrans in the sky of the Spanish Region of Extremadura by my phone.
