A dusk

Weather forecast: 13ºC Max, 1ºC Min, no wind, sunny without clouds,

Hi to everybody. I hope you will fine and right. In these moments, it is the dusk. Sun light is weak, with night wolves running for the sky. Blood is spread, with a pink color. The sign of the lost. Light goes out with shame, without looking at back. It knows he will be revived one moment.

First stars appear, with a pale shine. The black horse has come and the pink runs away. City lights come another time, with such a foolish sense of artificiality. Everything seems synthetic.

It is incredible that a simple car on your sight could do something like that. For an unknown reason, that image is linked with a memory. A memory of lost, a memory of shame. I guess I couldn´t see that model car again like I couldn´t see any more about Twilight films.

It is a bit curious, because I have never liked these books and these films. Did you know I have to go with her like an obligation? But, later, it turned into a sort of rite. Each year, we had to watch the new film with a silk and black bandage that used to hold our hands. It was a gesture of our love, a promise we had. "We will watch every film to the end".

Another broken promise like every promise. I don´t know but I think that getting older means understanding that nothing survives with the past of time, I think loneliness is inherited, promises are heavy lies that will be broken one day but, is this the life?

My worst defect is being a word man, I guess. Although now, I can´t say I will love somebody forever and ever because I know that dog barks more than bites.

Well, I am upset of being like that, like a little glass broken on the beach sand in winter.

One day, a person told me solitude is the greatest thing to understand, to know and to meet you. I don´t know but, if that is all I am, I think a bullet could be better.

Maybe the reason is so much time fighting against everything to have a degree and then, if you don´t see no light, no future, you may thing you wasted your entire life. I don´t know (another time). Maybe I am a worm that is waiting for being a butterfly.

One day, I have heard a Nat King Cole´s versioned song by David bowie:

"there was a boy, a very strange enchanted boy. They say he wandered very far, over land and sea. A little shy and sad of eyes"

I see me in these little words like a picture. Later, I have discovered that the same song was versioned for Moulin Rouge (a film that disliked me, though you know I dislike films in general).

Finally, the deeper obscure of the doom has painted my dear sky.

The last step to Winter

Leaves are changing,
Leaves are dying.

Winter is closer
Wind is colder,
heavier and deeper.

She has come.
She has come.

With a broken smile
With blue ice eyes
With frozen fingers and white,
like her smile.

My heart is broken another time.

She has come.
She has come.

P.S.: black bird (Turdus merula) in a leafless tree in December, in a Madrid´s  Park.

These little feelings I feel right know

Weather Forecast: Max 14ºC, Min 9ºC, rainy, no wind

Hello to all the world. I am here again after this one week break. I am so sorry but that time I felt like doing anything. It is a bit strange because I am not lazy and I love doing whatever but that time...  Maybe it is because of being unemployed, or because of  loneliness I felt and I feel. In addition, I read hardly newspapers these week. So, I feel odd as if I were in Lovecraft´ tales.

It is well known that currently situation in Spain doesn´t help. And this election thing with everybody talking about politics and saying "vote this or vote that". With any doubt, I think votes must be linked with our genes and I must be a kind of monster because in Spain, if your family used to vote and vote for right-wind, you must vote for this. I don´t believe in. Maybe it is why we are like this way but well, I guess I am upset of this little world and as many people knows, I need to go away and discover a new life. At least, I must find a bit of hope in human.

I believe I need a job to turn into an independent person, to forget loneliness and to feel better. With this way I will be fine and I won´t have any time to think in my poor life, like a bookworm but more boring. It is usual I am lonely , with no friends, with no love.

If love is a tainted thing which is used to hide your biological needs. If someone is in love with you because he/she loves you because he/she wants anything from you. Faith is lost and personally I see that in this life is more important a car and money for your partner. Maybe it is my experience, I don´t know but if you can´t pay a car, a weekly lunch in a restaurant or a weekly cinema ticket, if you can´t buy a lot of things or some travels, if you can´t pick up her since her home until her home, if you don´t do everything how she wants to,  NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU. And I say it in capitals. At 25 years old I have discovered nobody believes in this feeling in a pure way but It is hardly to say. I can´t understand how it is possible, maybe I must be alone in life.

Unfortunately, I have discovered too friendship exists while you can give something to the other person. It is annoying.

Maybe everything has a simple answer: maybe I wasn´t at the right time, at the right place with the right people. Therefore, I must think I need more time or I need to be in another country or I need to meet another people. Or maybe today is no time to thinking of, a day to be in bed, to look at another direction.

Like Platon said: I only know I don´t know anything.

Try to have a great week!

P.S.: a pic from my summer journey to Carril village, Galicia region in 2006

this horrible nightmare (politics in Spain)

Weather forecast: Min 10ºC, Max 18ºC, cloudy and closer to rain, East 5  Km / H wind.

Hi, people!!!! I can say I have left you during a week at least because of several things such as, a cold and another Greek tragedy, lol. So, with the remaining of this flu, I have decided to write a little.

Okay, of course, this month is a bit boring with this Spanish Election´s thing. Here, you can switch TV channels and you will find at any time, people talking about politics. So, you turn off TV and you decide: "Oh, let´s go to the street. I ´m going to see Autumn leaves on the ground of parks" and what do you find? Yeah, more politics!!!! Everybody is talking about it, also in the biggest Park!!! Therefore, you can see such a huge spam advertising at the street and you will hear from each person a talking about this subject...

Finally, I fell in this hole and, as you can see, I speak about it. It is like a virus, like the flu. You look like fine and indifferent but one day, you are sick. Well, It is the same thing when an idea turns into an ubiquitous matter, like black matter.

So, I have read both programs but It is very curious to take a look in them. Mainly, I can summarize:

Mainly Left-wing political party:

-Improve renting house
-New taxes for banks, for money deposits and for nuclear and hydrological power plants
-Invest more money in public services
-Jobs and contracts more temporary

So, more taxes and more taxes (it looks like a Right-wing political party), more taxes to the people who saves money and for this kind of energy. Dear political chief, do you know hydrological energy is the cleanest? Just stop thinking in huge dams because it is possible make little dams and rectify all the negative impacts within mini hydrological. In addition, we have an excellent technology.

And what do you do with nuclear power plants? Will you down the investment in security? Will you build a lot of thermal power stations like in Germany?

And what about investing more money in public services when you have cut off 30% in health and education services? Have you changed your mind suddenly? Will you continue spending more than earned?

And what about more temporary jobs? With this way, enterprises could fire people more easily. I am not surprised with qualified people leave Spain... Because... It is very hard than one of 2 young people are unemployed and we have 21% of unemployment (the double of Europe statistics) (21% from a calculation which takes 2001 population).

Mainly Right-wing political party:

-Make people buy the 700,000 empty houses with economic incentives
-Create more jobs
-No spend more money than earned

Okay, this looks like a dream´s child, you can say you want to have more jobs, to sell every empty house but how will you do? At least, you say the most logical thing, you can´t spend more than you receive...

But no one talks about food, education and health policies. Nobody has said nothing innovative about Renewable Energies and, surely, we couldn´t achieve  2020 European Energetic goals ... So, you can understand my frustration when I hear these things...

Well, have a nice day!!!!