The Black Kite

Weather forecast: cloudy, 18ºC Max, 7ºC Min, brizzly

 

 

A far while I used to think in a friendly environment. I had everything –a lovely girl, some friends, I was studying my favorite field. Anything seemed to be perfect. I was so wrong.

I woke up with a terrible headache. A pack of wolves had stolen my little piece. I lost her and I discovered the hard work market.

It’ s past tense. A tiny tale in the time or I thought that. Well, It’ s true that my points have been changed.

I realise I have got a great opportunity as working in my field in the current situation. I was flying and I’ m flying and flying over the sky as if I were a black kite -a lonely wolf.

Past is never just past.

I’ve drunk too much these two years. Too much of that favorite beverage -girls. Trying to look for her in each tender touch, imagining she was there. Unsurprisingly, nothing have worked –I’ m a bit of loner.  No friends, despite it’ s supposed my work is filling the dead empty space of my soul.

I’ ve become quite independent. If you have to bear the loneliness, why don’ t I try to turn it in an advantage? I’ ve chosen to profit this experience as if it was a lesson. I’ ve learnt there’ s always something to learn – life itself is a continuous class.

Alone, alone.

If it’ s my condition and I can’t change it, why should it drive me mad? It’ s said there’ s enough time, that we have our own path. I don’ t know what I can believe in.

In fact, I was/am a pilgrim to find out what I can believe what I am looking for and so forth. It didn’t /doesn’ t matter stay alone in this or that place. I was/am travelling on my own – like when I travelled to Milan last May. Although it was a little and stable trip with no more complications than taking a plane and moving through one city, I decided to go to France in a sort of big adventure. I didn’ t know. I was bitten by the travel bug and I had/have itchy feet.  I needed/ need so much answers that I though it’ d be the best medicine I had ever had on my hand. I got it several bus and trains and I travelled more than 1,000 kilometers, speaking in a foreign language and experiencing the culture shock.

There are some true lessons from that people. There’ s one who is waiting for me, there’ re conditions which set our behavior and personality, that one girl won’ t limit my flight.  To sum it with some words, it’ s not my time yet. I need to keep on flying. Someday I could say all what I will have learned.

 

Unfortunately, the past is sleeping and it wakes when it wants to. In that way, I met a beautiful young girl. I felt strangely fine with her, although she wasn’ t fitted to my preferences. I stopped of drinking from lips about two beautiful months. And one day, my ex lovely girl was inside – the twister stormed my walls. How could I meet a girl in a different town which had certain link with the pack of insects and my lovely girl?  It doesn’ t matter. I don’ t mind.

 

To be honest, I ‘ ve realised I didn’ t love that young girl. She was not for me as  she said. I tried to hide my feelings in her. Oh, God, I’ m sick. I do really have fear of forgetting her face, her voice and her skin.

From my point of view, I lost her and we haven’ t  talked for 3 weeks. She may be upset. She told me my feelings were a lie, she’ d been crying 7/24, she expected  that we would be keeping in touch til the last breath of our lives. She told me she loved me –but in a different way. She couldn’ t lose me. She couldn’ t, she said.

After that, everything went okay or she said so. She was happy we could have been repaired our connection. Nevertheless, I haven’t  known anything  about her for three weeks. I guess she is refusing to call me.

Maybe everything is okay and she’ s to be focused in more important priorities. I can say at all.

 

However, the last week I thought  she was sleeping on my side. I was frustrated in the morning when she wasn’ t there. She’ s got a partner, a better partner. And me, I’ m a just an ex-boyfriend. I’ ve lost her forever.

There’ re persons who are destined to be alone like an old bohemian. So, I flight dreaming in her tender smile because this incredible light was a part of me and I have got it yet. A shinning Moon which leads me towards the blue sea. Flying and flying like the black shadow of that ship named ‘ The black kite’ –Milvus migrans.

 

 

P.S. > it seems  I ‘ ve written too much because of the lack of post in the past months.

Pic> Milvus migrans in the sky of the Spanish Region of Extremadura by my phone.

Soundtrack> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx6FV2qR2TY