Closer to the edge

Weather forecast: 11ºCMax, 0ºC Min, no wind, no clouds


There are bad days where anything works... The black night´s darkness is on my back and... me, I am lonely again, lonely like the prey in front the predator. Well, at this moment, I consider myself like a dead, dead in but alive out.

I guess it is me the problem, I must accept my role in life, I must learn to accept the things. I... don´t... know.

Today, I am tired, lonely, anything works,  in my head, of course.

However, it is the remember of one frozen kiss in the past, a missed word in the time et thousands of broken promises beneath the Hell´s cold.

Finally, life is sum with 2 words: victory and defeat. Someone is victorious and another one, well, you know what they are. Me, I do think the second team belongs to me. No by own initiative. Not at all. I guess that it is a kind of "natural selection".

If I could write again, if I could say her loving you, if I had a kiss from her, if I had a job after so many years of formation,  if I wasn´t lonely...

 Blah, blah, that makes no sense.  You punish yourself, you hide yourself, you close your mouth. Finally you believe in. Look at your shoulders, we are closer to last eve of this year, everybody is happy. And you, you. You are like always! You say something with no sense,  you think about stupid things. You won´t never change! Listen to this! You breath! You keep on alive! So, fight against your situation, accept the challenge. Loneliness is just a moment, a week and quick moment which dies like the company you missed to. You know that, you know life is like a way on grounds, on the forest, on mountains.  Sometimes, you will be on the beach. Another time, you will be in a way covered by sharp rocks and you will be barefoot. And another time, you couldn´t choose a way between 2 routes. Listen to this asshole, life is just one person, one person who lives in yourself. Yes, you don´t believe me but it is like this way. Life isn´t a dream, life is yourself, your ideas, your thoughts, your feelings. Do you know the most people is more dead or certainly dead? Yes, because they can´t think, they can´t have feelings. Oh my god! Breath, breath, because you are alive and me... Me, I am not exist, can you see? I am not exist but I am telling you exist like an alive being. Don´t look at me like that! I can see your eyes. I know everything is very different, that it isn´t easy for yourself,  without her, with anybody, without future.  Haven´t you thought that it is just a day where anything works? Tomorrow, next day or next years, you will be free, you could see the past and you could say that you had been loved her (or maybe that you love her yet), that you had been loved her but you didn´t know how to maintain and, by consequence, you will be learned what you haven´t never do. Go out now. I am waiting for you and I am longing for sleep but you don´t want to. It doesn´t matter a year with anyone. It doesn´t matter! It doesn´t matter you don´t consider special each day. A day, a day you will be heard me and I speak seriously. Baf, I am going to sleep.